Wisdom from Caroline

Caroline: "Sarah was alone and David was alone. Then Sarah went out and found David. Then they got married. And that's better. Now Sarah is not alone and David is not alone. They are a family."

Out of the mouths of babes...

Happy Birthday David!

Yes, it's my honey's birthday! I'm so very blessed to share my life with him. Here is a short list of the ways he blesses my life:

1. He puts my needs first.
2. He takes wonderful care of me.
3. He compliments me on my appearance, cooking, and many other things.
4. He has a tender heart toward me, children, and our pets
5. He works hard and is always willing to help someone in need.
6. He has a big smile that lights up the room.
7. He is hilarious!
8. He has a positive attitude even in frustrating situations.
9. He is absolutely loyal to me, his friends, and family.
10. He is easy going and so much fun to be around.

There are so many more! Happy Birthday, sweet husband. I love you so much! You are my best friend.

I'm thankful for...

So many things! Here is a short list:

1. God loves me unconditionally and shows me so much grace.
2. God loved me enough to give me a wonderful husband!
3. My family is healthy and happy.
4. God is in control in all circumstances.
5. My health is being restored.
6. I have a wonderful job.
7. I can celebrate a wonderful year of big changes.
8. I have a great new church and I'm getting involved.
9. I have wonderful friends.
10. God has given David and I a wonderful future together.

10 Things I'd Rather Be Doing Today

The temperature is in the 40s or low 50s. It's raining. The wind is blowing. It's a Monday. I'm going to attempt to narrow the list of what I'd rather be doing down to 10.

1. Snuggle with my sweetie (number one on the list, no doubt)
2. Watch a movie.
3. Make chili.
4. Read a magazine or book.
5. Bake bread or cookies.
6. Sleep.
7. Watch daytime TV (hello, Oprah!)
8. Sit at Panera and sip a cup of hot chocolate(with LOTS of real whipped cream)
9. Take a long hot soak in the tub with my new bubble bath.
10. Make Christmas plans.

Balance of Faith

Since I now work in a United Methodist chapel office with a seminary next door, questions of faith have been swirling around in my head. I'm learning all kinds of new things, which bring up more questions, and so the cycle goes on and on. I'm surrounded by the church all week, so you would think that would provide an atomosphere for growth. Something has been missing, though, and I couldn't put my finger on it until just the other day.

The Methodist church, and by extension OCU, do a great job in fulfilling the command that Jesus gave: "And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself", Matthew 22:39. I have seen great generosity here, and a deep concern for the poor. Social justice is a term I had not heard much before I came to OCU, but it is the issue of the day in my office and in the School of Religion in general.

What I've been missing in my life is going deeper in Jesus' first command, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength." There is a reason why this command is listed first. I'm starting to understand that the only way we can truly love our neighbor as ourselves is to love God first. Out of the flow of living water that is coursing through us, we spill out into the lives of those around us.

This is not an either/or proposition. We need both to really impact the world and to be faithful to our calling. Leave the second command to love our neighbor out, and we have a selfish, empty faith. Leave out the first, and we do good to others without sharing with them the ultimate healing for loneliness and poverty of the soul. All the good we do should be an expression of thankfulness to God for His love and a way for us to reflect that to others.

With both commands in mind, this wonderful cycle will go on and on if we'll let it. I worked in a soup kitchen for the first time earlier in the year, and could see Jesus in the eyes of those I served. This led me to a profound thankfulness for God's love and faithfulness, which made me want to give again. Serving others draws me back to my knees to worship God, which sends me back to a hurting world.

The fact that I seem to be missing this piece is really my fault. I could say that I've had a lot going on (true), that I'm coping with all the changes in my life (also true). The truth is that I haven't been very focused, and that's entirely on me.

To the ladies of my Bible study on Wednesday night, you are watering my soul in so many ways. Thank you for challenging me and accepting me.

To my friend Anita, the Saint Paul seminary queen, thanks for listening to all the theological wrestling I'm doing. I'm learning a lot from you!

To my wonderful husband David, your encouragement and quiet strength makes my world go 'round. I love our life together!

Smile Awards

Today, I got a wonderful surprise...a smile award from Kristen. Thanks, beesh! Hope you enjoy a few words about some of the many people who make my life such a joy.

Smile Award #1--My beesh, Kristen. Even though I haven't seen her smile in person in SO LONG, she has the ability to smile through the rain like no one else I know. She lands on her feet, gives worries the "whatever" shrug, and focuses on the positive--even when she has "sand in her circumstances". No wonder she's been my beesh for 19 years now! Everyone needs a Kristen in their lives. Check out her blog at http://bluebottledesigns.blogspot.com/ and you can see my smile award from her.

Smile Award #2--My husband, David. His big grin took up the whole doorway where I stood the first time I saw him in person. He lights up a room, and definitely lights up my life like no one ever has. Can you tell I'm in love? I almost deserve a smile award for how much he makes me smile! What a blessing he is to me and everyone who knows him.

Smile Award #3--My nieces Caroline and Olivia. Their innocent sweet smiles melt my heart. Plus, they give my sister fits half the time. I have to give them credit for that!

My nephew Bennett gets one, too, despite the fact that he's only a year old. Watch out little toddler girls...he's going to be a heartbreaker!

Smile Award #4--My pinky posse (Laura, Candy, & Christi). They have the best collective sense of humor I've ever seen. They will literally make your sides hurt and your face ache! For that, I give them a raised eyebrow, and a "Really?" for Candy, a "Seriously?" for Christi, and a "YOU ARE KIDDING!" for Laura. I love you Samantha, Carrie, and Miranda!

OK, maybe that's only 4 official smile awards, but it's for 8 people! Don't I have a lot of light in my life? God is surely smiling down on me.

Put your shine on someone else's day by giving them a smile award! Here are the rules, which of course I bent a little:

These are the rules for The Smile Award:
1. The recipient must link back the the award’s creator.
2. You must post these rules if you receive the award.
3. You must chose 5 people to receive the award after receiving it yourself.
4. You must fit the characteristics of the recipient of the award.
5. You must post the characteristics of a recipient.
6. You must create a post sharing your win with others.
7. You must thank your giver.

Protest

We are expecting protesters tonight at OCU. They are the folks from Topeka, KS, who protest at soldiers' and Aids victim's funerals. They also protest against anything that has to do with homosexuality. That issue gives OCU the dubious honor of their visit.

The theater department is doing The Laramie Project, a play based on the murder of a gay student in Laramie, WY, named Andrew Shepherd. OCU students have proclaimed today "Love Not Hate" day, and are wearing shirts that proclaim it.

In 30 minutes or so, there will be a service put together by Spectrum (the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender group on campus). The students are here setting up and have been so polite. I'll be running the sound system, so I'll be in the service. I'm curious, to say the least. When they made the reservation, they said that they wanted to have a service to say "God is Love" to counter the hate that was coming from the protesters later this evening.

One of the reasons I love working with college students is that they are very passionate! More than a few e-mails have gone out from the administration asking (pleading with?) the students to adopt the official campus response to the protesters--ignore them. Deny them the attention they seek. The students are planning a silent protest. Can they be silent? Will their passion and tempers get the better of them? I pray not.

In this most difficult issue, I will trust God that He is big enough to sort out who His children are and how they need to live. I'm looking at this as an opportunity to show all of our students love and hospitality. This doesn't change my thoughts on what scripture says about sexuality (gay and straight). Am I a little uncomfortable? Sure, I'll admit to that. But, I have a responsibility to God for my actions and my heart. God has enough grace to deal with the rest. Lord, enable me to reflect that grace, the very grace you've given me.

Fall Joys

I love fall! It has always been my favorite season. The others have their charms...dogwoods in the spring, warm summer nights, and snowy winter days, but nothing beats the cool, crisp air of fall. Fall means apples, sweaters, and football. Growing up in the Ozarks, fall also meant gorgeous vistas with a patchwork quilt of colorful trees.

Today is the first true day of fall here in Oklahoma City. The leaves aren't really turning yet, but that first blast of really cool weather is here. It's foggy and damp, just as a pre-Halloween day should be. There is something deep inside that clicks on days like today and makes me want to make mass quantities of chili. I can't explain it.

There are so many small moments of joy to this time of year. I thought about that this past weekend as I held Olivia on my shoulders. She said gleefully, "I'm on top! I'm up on top!" as I swung her around. I know exactly what you mean, Liv! She was giggling in her sweet way, and Caroline was urging David to swing her again and again as she rode on his shoulders. We put them down and chased them around Aunt Betty's lawn, laughing. All was right with the world.

I missed some of the joy of fall last year during my long recovery from heart surgery. I didn't hike in the woods, cooked less of my fall favorites, and didn't feel quite as well as I do now.

But, I did something new last fall: I fell in love with David! We had a wonderful time getting to know and love each other during my favorite time of year. I instantly loved his family as we spent the weekend in Stillwater for his college homecoming. He learned to call the Hogs as we cheered them on Fayetteville. We missed each other greatly as he served in Ukraine last October.

We had one particularly special fall weekend last year. Our arms around each other, we walked through War Eagle Mill. We stopped for long hugs and romantic kisses. We asked others to take pictures of us, after trying self portraits with partial faces in them.

We went to see the Razorbacks play South Carolina on a cold starry night and snuggled together. The leaves fell around us on Mount Sequoyah on that sunny Sunday afternoon. My heart broke, as it always did, when he had to return home. Something was growing between us, and, for the first time, I found myself dreaming about what could be between us in the future.

This year, we are going home to treasure just one fall weekend in the Ozarks. I can't wait to soak up the beauty, the crisp, clean air, and spend time with my family and friends. It will go by too quickly, but I will treasure every moment. Mom, put the chili on the stove and the cornbread in the oven. We're coming home!

Thankfulness

Some days, thankfulness alludes me. How can someone as blessed as I am shut my eyes to all that God has given me? And, yet, my abundant blessings remain ignored and unappreciated at times, like a doll from the Island of Misfit Toys that no one plays with anymore. This hardness of heart eats away at the joy within me until the world is gray and flat.

Praise God, there are other days where thankfulness pervades everything. The sky is blue, the air is cool against your cheek. I greet the world with a smile and enthusiasm courses through your veins. The seasons change, and I notice God's world is splashed with color and creativity. This is one of those days. God seems to have laid it out in front of me and is smiling as He watches me enjoy it.

What a beautiful world God has given us. He wakes us in the morning and has our role in His kingdom prepared for the day. No one is insignificant. No role is too small.

Lord, give me a thankful heart to receive and appreciate your blessings, and perseverance to weather the trials that come. Thank you for the little things that show your love--a beautiful sunset, the changing of the seasons, a new friend. Help me join you in Your work and play my role well.

Colossians 2:6-7, "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him,
rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."

I found the words to "His Eye is on the Sparrow" that I refered to in my other post of the day. I hope they are comforting to you, too, in this turbulent time in our country.

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Worry much?

I'll stand up and say it: My name is Sarah and I'm a worrier. That's supposed to be the first step...admitting that you have a problem. Now that I'm on my way to self-fulfillment and healing, I'll air some of my worries.

Among others, I have financial worries. David and I were assigned homework to make a budget before our next financial peace class at church. Will we be on the same page? Will it stretch? Will everything be covered? Is there anything left for fun or saving toward big purchases down the road (future trip to Italy, new tires for the cars, a new roof)? What if we have an emergency? What if I get sick again and can't work? The more I think about it, the more scenarios flood my mind. I can be a very tenancious and creative worrier.

David, in all his wisdom, tells me not to worry. Everything will work out. We'll be fine. I want to believe that, too. He must be wondering where his sunny, optimistic wife is. He is such a wonderful comfort,but the worries creep back in.

Most of all, God is dealing with me about my lack of faith. All the verses I've ever read about worry are streaming through my mind, and still, I worry. I want to make these truths play out in my daily life, but I seem to struggle against the practical things I see around me (bills, debts, etc.) versus faith that God will take care of us. I have had the song "His Eye is on the Sparrow" in my mind all day. May I remember that wonderful blessing everyday.

Thank you, Lord, for everything you've given me. I am truly blessed. I have a wonderful husband, a nice home, and my needs met. Forgive my lack of faith and help me to be thankful. Amen.

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for , the evidence of things not seen. "

Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Psalm 108:4 "Your love Oh, Lord, reaches to the nations. Your faithfulness reaches to the skies."

Stuff I Know for Sure Part 1

In the grand tradition of Oprah, here's some stuff I know FOR SURE...

1. I am loved. By God. By David. By my family and friends. So loved...unconditionally, and with so much grace.

2. I am in OCU for a purpose. Check out the blessing I received from a colleague and posted.

3. God has a plan for my life. I didn't exactly plan the exhilirating roller coaster ride I've been on since 2004, but WOW!

Since 2004:
Met David & fell in love (what a miracle)
Got married for the first time (what an incredible blessing!)
Dad got cancer and went into remission (praise God!)
Developed heart disease and had open heart surgery
Changed careers twice
Moved twice
Met all 3 of my pinky posse members (love you girls!)

4. Life is good. Through all the changes, God has sent me waves of blessings!

5. God's truth will always win in the end. Through all this adolescent, partisan wrangling that is going on with the politicians trying to save the economy (read: get or stay elected), God's truth will not be stopped. So, politicians and intensly political people...everyone go to your corner and take a deep breath. Do y'all need a nap?

Stay tuned for more "Stuff I Know for Sure". And--comment and tell me what you know for sure.

Blessing

This is a blessing I received via e-mail from a colleague at OCU…May it be true of all of us today…

May today be all you need it to be. May the Peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight, and conquer all your fears. May God manifest Himself today in ways you have never experienced. May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer, and your prayers be answered. I pray that faith enters a new height for you; I pray that your territory is enlarged. I pray for peace, healing, health,happiness, prosperity, joy, true and undying love for God.

Let's start at the very beginning...a very good place to start

Yeah! I'm finally blogging! This reminds me of the scene in "What About Bob" where he's lashed to the sailboat screaming, "I sail! I'm a sailor!" Ok, so, "I blog! I'm a blogger!" I was resistant at first, but, hey, I resisted facebook too and most of you know where that got me.

First, thanks to my friends whose blogs that I'm addicted to reading on a daily basis: Melby Toast (my best friend from college Kristen), Jamey and Norah (my good friend Karyn), Mayberry Happenings (my friend and sorta kinda neighbor Renee) and Jennsylvania (a hilarious author whose books I read in the bathtub).

Some of you know that I recently submitted an essay for a real writing contest! It's sponsored by Real Simple magazine. I want to crawl into Real Simple and live. I love it! The essay was supposed to be about the MOST SIGNIFICANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE. Having had so many wonderful and signficant events happen recently, I narrowed it down to my life-saving heart surgery. I'll keep you posted. First prize is $3,000 and publication in the magazine.