Since I now work in a United Methodist chapel office with a seminary next door, questions of faith have been swirling around in my head. I'm learning all kinds of new things, which bring up more questions, and so the cycle goes on and on. I'm surrounded by the church all week, so you would think that would provide an atomosphere for growth. Something has been missing, though, and I couldn't put my finger on it until just the other day.
The Methodist church, and by extension OCU, do a great job in fulfilling the command that Jesus gave: "And the second is like it: love your neighbor as yourself", Matthew 22:39. I have seen great generosity here, and a deep concern for the poor. Social justice is a term I had not heard much before I came to OCU, but it is the issue of the day in my office and in the School of Religion in general.
What I've been missing in my life is going deeper in Jesus' first command, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength." There is a reason why this command is listed first. I'm starting to understand that the only way we can truly love our neighbor as ourselves is to love God first. Out of the flow of living water that is coursing through us, we spill out into the lives of those around us.
This is not an either/or proposition. We need both to really impact the world and to be faithful to our calling. Leave the second command to love our neighbor out, and we have a selfish, empty faith. Leave out the first, and we do good to others without sharing with them the ultimate healing for loneliness and poverty of the soul. All the good we do should be an expression of thankfulness to God for His love and a way for us to reflect that to others.
With both commands in mind, this wonderful cycle will go on and on if we'll let it. I worked in a soup kitchen for the first time earlier in the year, and could see Jesus in the eyes of those I served. This led me to a profound thankfulness for God's love and faithfulness, which made me want to give again. Serving others draws me back to my knees to worship God, which sends me back to a hurting world.
The fact that I seem to be missing this piece is really my fault. I could say that I've had a lot going on (true), that I'm coping with all the changes in my life (also true). The truth is that I haven't been very focused, and that's entirely on me.
To the ladies of my Bible study on Wednesday night, you are watering my soul in so many ways. Thank you for challenging me and accepting me.
To my friend Anita, the Saint Paul seminary queen, thanks for listening to all the theological wrestling I'm doing. I'm learning a lot from you!
To my wonderful husband David, your encouragement and quiet strength makes my world go 'round. I love our life together!
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